So here it is, the end of another week. 2 weeks I am not sure. It has been hectic...
So to start off, It was suggested to be to put my middle child into a mental health hospital for a short term visit.....many of you may wonder why. esp those of you who know us personally..
WELL He has a mental health issue... and before you get all hauled off with your natural food fixes and blah blah blah, shut up!
I pray constantly for and about my son.. what is best for him and us as a whole family.. I assure you that I as His mother knows what is best for him.. and I am doing so..
He is having huge rages... no details, but it is getting harder for me to handle... My husband has little tolerance, as he does not understand still that my son does not always have the ability to control his actions..
I am not letting my sons diagnosis allow him to get away with anything... but some days, It feels as if I have to choose my son, or the rest of my family.. No parent should have to choose this...It is the worst possible feeling.. how can you pick the line between enabling or helping? he is nearly 10 years old and the last thing I want is for him to grow up not only hating himself, but hating me or the world...
We teach him all about Heavenly Father, and Jesus and all the lessons in life you teach for your children to be healthy and well adjusted...
My issue is I grew up with a very controlling, yelling screaming, spanking, hitting, whipping, family...
So many times I find myself falling into the want/need to control my sons every actions! HOW HORRID! I yell, embarrassing but the sad sad truth..I am working on this issue, not just me by myself but with my husband, my children and several outside sources.. But Especially with my Heavenly Father...
I hate being stuck in the middle of everything.. being stuck in between what I know, what I do not and things I have no answer for.. These past couple years we have come out of our mind numbing stupor and joined in the more intelligent question asking dark side :) what a wonderful place this is! so far we have changed our parenting step by step.. NO my sons issues did not suddenly appear as we have been attempting these changes. IN fact we are hoping to reduced them..
we have reduced our gluten intake.. we have started switching from sugar to other options..BTW it is horrid that the best foods for you are the most expensive!
Also I do not care how many people you feed on what... and what you think I should do.. AGAIN this is where being the mother in this family means I should know what is best for my family..
Anyways.. it has been more changes and adjustments.. tons of research..and setbacks...
On the up note! I have been able to sub different age groups in the childrens primary at my church. I found out I love it! LOL last week it was the children who were turning 8. This week it is the ones just older, I think.. Also I am feeling a bit more confident about being the coordinator for the Young Women's camp coming in June..although I still feel like I do not get to do anything :( I was looking forward to something more?) but I do not know what that was.
We rescued a dog off the street, cleaned her up and unfortunately turned her in, but at least she was not going to get hit by a car.. I but several positive messages to long time friends on Facebook, hoping to cheer up their day..and fit into a pair of jeans that used to be way tight..
You know the kind, lay on the bed, suck in your gut, and pray the zipper goes up without pinching the fat! LOL went on without a hitch! Also My daughter and I had a chance to go to a Christian woman's salad supper..
the lesson/message was, We are daughters of a king! well DUH!
I am thankful that through the bad, i can still see the good...
Till next time..
